ILLEGAL GROUND

Experience the best clubs and events in Gothenburg, Stockholm, Malmö and Paris. Also the smoking fresh, newly produced music there is to find, all for you to see the hottest spots in the pulsating night life; whether it's at home or abroad.

THIS F*CKING SUCKS

Below you will find reviews of clubs we simply hate. Not all clubs can be good, some of them plain and simply, just f*cking sucks. That is why Illegal Ground wants to warn our readers and to guarantee that you are always dancing at the best clubs.


February 28th 2017

London: Fabric

We are all aware of what went down at Fabric by the end of last year. The massive media coverage of how the famous club in London lost its license due to some unfortunate drug related deaths, gave us a pretty good idea of the state of the underground clubs in London.

Unfortunately I haven’t been to Fabric before this happened, and therefore I don’t really know what the club was like back then. However, having massive expectations of this highly praised club – I was majorly let down.

Despite having the pretickets bought and being at the venue before 01 (which was listed as one of the rules to be able to enter without queuing), we still ended up waiting in line in the London weather for approximately 50 minutes. When actually arriving inside, we were divided by gender, going through what felt like an airport security check up, conducted by very unfriendly guards. Right then and there, I realized that Fabric is nothing related to underground at all.

Maybe I’m spoiled with the cool parties thrown in strange and unusual venues here in Gothenburg, but I really can’t understand the hype regarding Fabric at all. The club itself is huge, and attracting so much people that it’s IMPOSSIBLE to even dance on the dedicated dance floors. And the people this club attracts are a whole different story.

It looks like Fabric’s clients mostly consist of 19 years old guys dressed as if they were actually around London’s real underground rave era during the 90’s. I’m not talking about the nice hipster rave guys you see at raves here in Gothenburg – nope, I’m talking about the rave guys trying to push you, elbow you and treat you like a piece of meat at the meat market around the corner.

Apart from that, the place itself is really weirdly organized. At the main dance floor, the DJs are hidden behind a massive DJ booth that resembles a wall more than anything else which means that people didn’t really know where the DJs were and ended up ”dancing” in all different directions. The sound was also not very loud (good for our hearing I suppose) which made the dance floor into the perfect hanging spot for said teens, just wanting to have a chat. Totally killed the vibe.

The music however was good. I’m glad that they actually have the budget for making those really big bookings. But to be honest, I wasn’t able to enjoy myself or the music at all due to that horrible crowd.

In conclusion, Fabric is a mainstream club trying to be underground, and unless you’re into teenage hipster douchebags you’re probably not gonna have a good time.

Leyla Ekelund


February 17th 2017

UPSTAIRS NIGHTCLUB (Decay)

Upstairs Nightclub is the venue 20 metres from Avenyn, trying to rebrand itself as the new techno club. I had to head over there to see what the fuss was all about, choosing the club Decay for the occasion. I was happy to see the arrangers really trying to do a smart move by booking Magnus Nylander (über) and Yoba for the night, to really pull the underground crowd over. But sadly enough, I was really disappointed.

I don’t think the arrangers and Decay deserve the blame fully, I think it’s mostly Upstairs Nightclub itself that sucks. Already upon arriving the constant flow of failures started, since the guards in the door opened with a not so subtle warning regarding the music being played for the night. It’s not very inviting to hear guards telling you to ”beware of the techno music” before even entering the club.

When finally inside I was met by 10-15 peeps standing on the dance floor, moving along to Nylander’s steady flow of awesome beats, but that’s basically all it was. 90% of all were guys and probably the DJs friends which means that the club itself brought basically 0.

The venue is also very strange. The ceiling is very low, creating the unpleasant feeling of being stuck in a box. And very little effort has been put into the light show. However, the soundsystem is good and fits the size of the space very well.

I wouldn’t recommend anyone putting out 150 SEK to ”party” at Upstairs Nightclub, it probably wouldn’t be worth it even if it was for free.

Leyla Ekelund


November 9 2015

Force Majeure! MYTHOS #10.5 – Palazzo Edition!

We’re all aware of the fact that Mythos was shut down by the fire department and therefore cancelled – however, the Mythos arrangers decided to host a smaller party in another part of the city with the two DJs and producers Kobosil (Berlin) and Adriana Lopez (Barcelona). Of course we went there to check it out.

The special venue for the night was Pallazzo at Sockerbruket which is a fairly nice place in a pretty typical underground club area. It’s a big place with the possibiliy to open up three dancefloors but Mythos decided to just go for one (probably due to the short notice).

When we get there around 00 the queue in is pretty manageble and we get inside fairly quickly. Though, what we get inside to was quite disappointing.

Kobosil is a Berlin based producer who’s been seen and heard on Boiler Room a few times and he is really into that hardcore, non-melodic techno. REALLY into it. He stepped up behind the DJ booth and from the start it was hardcore, supertrashy techno with no melody or variation that could beat the heart out of your chest in a second.  Although this might sound cool in theory, it really wasn’t. It killed the vibe and mood and it was waaaay too early for that kind of music.

Another mistake that the arrangers did was when rigging the soundsystem. The bass was so so heavy that it was impossible to speak to one another – the regular screaming in the bartender’s ear when asking for a beer didn’t even work. The only option when wanting to talk and have a discussion was to leave the dancing area and head out in the cold, rainy outdoors. And that is not pleasant at all.

When dancing inside – no matter how drunk (or high) one might’ve been, the sound just killed the eardrums and people was literally walking around with earplugs or in our case – toiletpaper, stuffed in their ears.

However, the light show was pretty darn amazing. Loads of intricate details and cool patterns that made the party a little bit better than plain horrible.

It’s the first time Mythos hasn’t lived up to their usual high standard but that was bound to happen sooner or later. After all, the club business is not easy and club goers are usually pretty picky. We’re hoping for a better time and most importantly, better music next time!

ILLEGAL GROUND


23 October 2015

PARIS – Le Baron

Svensk Disconatt #2 – That F*@#!ng Party and Jonas Kleerup

baron

Many times has Paris expressed its love for the Scandinavian country Sweden. There is no way to deny that this love is not of an asymmetric nature – there are probably as many French who love Sweden, as Swedes in France (especially Paris). The mere thought of a collaboration between these two parts seems nothing but obvious, and thus successful – or is it?

Having already hosted a Swedish-themed night at one of the most prestigious clubs in Paris – Le Baron – the team that once brought Kåken in Stockholm to its days of glory got the chance to put its spunk on this legendary bar once more on October the 23rd. Within the club-world, being transported to host, appear or perform at a venue, is an honor and a sign of a place that cares about entertainment with research and dedication – rather than just cashing in on people’s need for casual sex. It is thus unfortunate when such a collaboration is UNsuccessful.

This editorial assisted the first appearance of this collaboration earlier this year, and certain members of this team have spent more hours at this place than they might want to admit. Don’t get it wrong: this is not a bragging post, but rather a way of expressing our concern for the hours of our lives we won’t be getting back. Le Baron was in 2012 living up to its name; respected celebs were regulars at this once glorious place, and the aura, vibe and energy in the room was always unbelievable. This was a place where reality somehow was bent, and everybody gathered to enjoy their time and forget daily stress with a glass of decadence and opulence bottled in a bottle of champagne. What the fuck happened?

We are not sure who to blame for this disaster: the place for booking these people, or these guys for doing the worse job this place has ever seen. A once full Baron was this time attended by perhaps 50 youngsters – and half of them where outside smoking during the most part, because the party was probably better out there. When talking about ”the party”, we refer not only to people dancing, or how many people are buying bottles, or what the drinks are like (price and quality wise), or even what music is on – we value the ensemble of these together, and the energy in the room: the invitation to stay and spend your time at this particular place. We do understand that the history of Le Baron calls for a service oriented towards a high end clientele, and thus bottle-service – yet this is not the reality of today. Having had the worse whiskey-sour ever served (at least that’s what we got upon request), it is clear that cockiness is only fine if you have the goods to back it up. Especially after Le Baron tried going international franchising it’s brand hoping for the world to hop-on-wagon their ideas, basically copying PACHA or some other tacky idea from the 2000’s, the result can be described as following: bad.

Although the reason for this particular night is not to blame the bad strategic notions of the team behind Baron, it probably has a big contributing factor. However, many nights since the change in strategy have brought cramp to the legs of the dancing nation – this is perhaps only a new low? We don’t ever intend to point out a guilty or responsible party for such a train wreck – except when we do.

After being the mastermind behind of one of the most visited concepts in Stockholm, the guys behind That F*@#!ng Party together with Jonas Kleerup (The very famous Andreas Kleerup’s not so famous brother) didn’t live up to that reputation. We should be honest and direct when saying that Stockholm and Paris are two completely different cities with crowds that are in proximity to antagonistic and much more varied – maybe what works in one place, doesn’t in the other? But looking at the curriculum of this crew, it feels like they should be able to do a better job than what the result was. At the end of the day, this is what’s paying their bills isn’t it? Maybe, that’s exactly it: organizing and hosting an event is perhaps three sizes bigger than booking the ones that are going to. And just perhaps, they should stick to what they know: arrange a party with good DJ’s (and nothing more) at the back of a restaurant – it has most certainly worked out incredibly fine until now.

Bringing Stockholm to Paris is a big no-no, that’s for sure – maybe next time, adapt, research and try again? What’s for sure is that Parisians don’t enjoy remaking the dance floor into a karaoke pist, and the music should invite to dance in decadence, not to sing at the top of your lungs – or go host somewhere else. Perhaps next time just book someone that does a better job, because this f*cking sucks.

ILLEGAL GROUND


August 8 2015

GOTHENBURG – Wowdad & Afterhours: WAREHOUSE (Friday)

The venue of Mythos was open during the entire Way Out West but instead of the usual electronic music we found a loadful of hip hop.

With a cool line up of artist such as Yemi, Mwuana, Denz among others we were expecting a sweaty dancefloor like the ones at Nef or Yaki but when we arrived we were instantly disappointed. And it didn’t get any better throughout the night.

Mythos’ venue is huge and taking on the task of filling it up just didn’t work this time. It was empty, the atmosphere was awkward and the big dance floor was stiff as a board. Not to mention the smaller dance floor that was completely empty – to no surprise since the music was outdated and boarded on being a copy of Jazzhuset’s signature style. And Jazzhuset is going downhill for sure so one would think that the arrangers might want to follow another recipe than theirs.

The arrangers made the big mistake of keeping the club too bright and lit up. It just completely killed the mood to see all the empty spots and the disappointment in everyone’s faces. Even the live performances were mediocre and to think that people paid 160 SEK for the night is just insane.

The only ones that seemed to have fun were the DJs and their friends behind the DJ booth, the rest of us went home with a bad taste in our mouths and the question ”Wtf was that?!” ringing in our heads.

ILLEGAL GROUND


9 June 2015

GOTHENBURG – montessori °3: VIGD JORD

The concept of the event might have sounded funny and interesting. With a Yoga Nidra session for starters that would continue with various artists until the morning actually does sound fun. To think that for once an underground party in the woods isn’t ONLY about techno and rave. But add an awful sound, weird mixes and a bored audience to this and you might feel differently. When electronic music all of a sudden changes to a middle aged disco the satisfaction just disappears. Let’s break it down:

At 1 AM Illegal Ground reaches the destination Konstepidemin,  (which usually might be a bit early for a this type of party). The good thing about this event was its location, and that is pretty much it. Since the event started at 10 PM we thought we missed the warm-up, unfortunately no. Corny hits from 5 or 6 years ago are played and it could actually have been good if only the mixes were a bit better. To play dancy RnB goodies and suddenly change to Swedish 90s is merely confusing and guests are changing their style of dance every five minutes. After a while it just gets exhausting and this experiment is being held at a wrong hour. Mixing good oldies is good for the late hours to keep the audience going, not as after-warm-up. It doesn’t really get any better, when the next DJ-set is playing we even wanted the old ones back. The electronic music that was being played between 3-4 PM made us want to buy some more beer (not cold) to see if it it maybe could get more exciting. The bar is just a few meters away from the DJ-desk, but we can not hear the music anymore. This was to the worst thing about the night, the sound! If you wanted to listen to music, your only spot was in the front, otherwise we would recommend everybody to bring their iPhone and listen to some playlists in your ears. There was just no sound other than around the ”dancefloor”. Even if the events central location was a bit risky for getting noise complaints, you can still spice it up with some bass, which simply was not in town this evening.

The late hours offered us some techno and all of a sudden it changed to a middle aged disco, after that we just gave up. The concept sounded interesting, and to admit there was a few moments in the beginning of the evening that were pretty funny and the 2008 hits did bring some nostalgia to the dance floor, but that is about it. Good location, about 10% good music and terrible sound!

This f*cking sucked.

ILLEGAL GROUND


27 april 2015

GOTHENBURG – Gasverket

På lönefredagen i april så ställdes det till med fest i en lokal precis vid Gasklockan. Illegal Ground drog dit med höga förväntningar då tidigare klubbar från samma arrangör alltid fallit i smaken.

Den utvalda lokalen var bra likväl som belysningen och bestod av två dansgolv och en stor innergård. Men det var ungefär så långt det sträckte sig denna natt. Vi kommer dit vid halv ett-tiden och möts av ett dansgolv där gamla indieklassiker spelas på hög volym med riktigt stel stämning och där ingen riktigt vågar dansa. Det är relativt tomt på folk och de flesta hänger avvaktande på dansgolvet med något vaggande försök till dans utan att röra på varken fötter eller armar. Pinsam stämning och kass musik helt enkelt. Och så ser det ut ända tills vi går hem vid 04:30.

Det andra dansgolvet ligger lite avsides och är ett tillslutet, litet bunkerliknande rum där det spelas techno. Det är mörkt, massivt med rök och en enda relativt cool grön laser som ackompanjemang. Det är Legion of Boom som står för technon och det är de och deras musik som lyfter denna natt för oss. Det lilla rummet var som en fristad från den stela, jobbiga stämningen som ‘folk som tror att de är något’ levererade alldeles utanför.

Allt som allt så fanns det guldklimpar denna natt men de var tyvärr alldeles för få.

Bättre lycka nästa gång! Vi tyckte att det sög k*k helt enkelt.

(För smakprov av vad som spelades på stora dansgolvet; dra en sväng till jazzhuset valfri fredag.)

ILLEGAL GROUND


22 mars 2015

GOTHENBURG – ▞ MOTION ▚ 

I en av Gbgs värsta lokaler (Fotögatan 9) fann ni igår uppkomlingen ▞ MOTION ▚, En klubb som likt lokalen den huserade i inte drar något folk och där dansgolvet är tomt sånär på två-tre personer som är så borta att de inte är medvetna om den dåliga musiken de dansar till.

Motion är en sådan där klubb som dyker upp då och då, den lyckas aldrig fatta något riktigt fäste utan hankar sig fram bit för bit – natt för natt. Och tyvärr är det inte oförtjänt.

Musiken är dålig och har ingen attraktionskraft, lokalerna de väljer är otillgängliga och har dåligt rykte. Klubben känns inte som en klubb utan mer som en misslyckad sammankomst för folk med kass musiksmak.

Det är inte konstigt att arrangörerna väljer att samarbeta med en lokal som ägs av en man som aldrig kom hem efter senaste LSD-märket, utan vare sig vett eller intuition om hur en klubb ska drivas. Och tyvärr syns det i gårdagens resultat.

Illegal Ground stämplar ▞ MOTION ▚ med ett fett, stort ‘UNDVIK‘.

ILLEGAL GROUND

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